i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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