batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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