Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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