Can Purell be used as lube?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
