Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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