Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
