well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
