my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
