There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
