I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
