Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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