I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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