PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
