what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
