apparently the secret to your success is patron
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
