I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
