Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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