She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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