Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
