So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
