i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
