Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize