I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
