We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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