i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize