I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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