There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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