They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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