just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
