So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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