It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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