So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
