umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
