she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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