I hope mine doesn't look like that
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
