yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
