I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
