The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
