I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
