oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He felt like a one man threesome
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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