this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
