Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
