im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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