Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize