I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
my liver is dry heaving
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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