Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just had sex bonerless
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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