Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
