I hate your face
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize