i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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