The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
