Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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