Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
