The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
