Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize