Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
