My room smells like vodka and shame
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize