i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
