I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
